Each month we submit a photo for a Caption Competition and welcome as much humour, abuse and ridicule as possible ! The winner of each month will win a pint at the club. If you think you have a suitable photo, please let us know, wrfc@fsmail.net  

July Caption Competition Dan,Copper and Lou at the Golf Day. EMail us on wrfc@fsmail.net Winner gets a pint.

June Caption Winner Gareth's Nose Needs some attention. “Sarah, I think the VICK is starting to work”. .... wins Paul Copperwheat a pint.   Other entries, Never mind my nose, can you do something with my hair?   Always considered a powerhouse on the pitch, even Gareth's friends were a little surprised when he started smoking  Only men bleed.... Right nostril says to left nostril " I'll see your green bogey and raise it a white one" Trying to emulate Aldo’s famous condom trick, Gareth got himself in a bit of a mess. Gareth regretted partying all night with Pete Doherty. He may not have liked what Sarah put in the left nostril but what was she preparing for the right one. Tampax Tampons – for all occasions.

May Caption Winner Remy In Action ! (Ref is old friend from Bicester, Dave Clayton) "The investiture of Sir Remy of Martinshire as he joins the quest to bring back the Holy Grail of the Rugby World Cup to England" wins Kevin Duffy a pint. Other entries, "Keep going Remy - he might change it to a penalty try!" "While your down there" .... obvious but still a good one ! "I agree with you remy the ref should have used Mum?" "Yes I spit not swallow!" "Witney really did go to extreme lengths to see if the ref would reverse his decision" "Sorry ref I’m a little deaf I thought you said buccaneer!!" "I don't care if you do take your teeth out, you're still off" "Your sins are forgiven my son, now take the bloody penalty" "The boys listened intently to the referee's assistant as to why it was a penalty" "Is it any wonder why Witney kept winning the referees award each season ?"

April Caption Winner Fish gets a bit fresh with Chats Winner of the pint was Roger Dore with, "Fish and tits.". Other entries were, "That evening, Chats was a right handful". Fish says to Smorley " And if you think I feel a right tit, you ought to see the guy behind you" Red Bull might give you wings but........ Fish " I feel a right tit!" fish feels a right tit. Fish try's to find the winners jug. The new fitness training really seems to have transformed one of the Angels. Feel tit of Fish Fish Fingers Fresh Fish !

March Caption Winner  Mikey and Stu in thoughtful pose after a match “The 4ths results started to improve when they learnt how to pull their finger out” Wins ex-player and now referee Kevin Duffy a pint. The other entries were, "Hmmm looks like shit, tastes like shit" “Don't like the taste of yours...” “Stewart explains the injury he picked up during a tough away tour match in Ireland last season. 'I had better tell you the story before Andy Morris does.........'.” “The Cheeky Boys” “A pint of Creme de Menthe for my poofy friend” “I said smuggle the ball up your jumper” “The knee bandage (left leg) secret society gave their special sign” Girl on bench " No Mum, I can't speak to you, I'm on the phone" The camera shy players got all in a muddle when asked for a cheeky pose. Thanks to all who entered……… Chutney missed the chance to get his own back!

February Winner Shane tries on Norms Jogging Bottoms! Winner of the pint was Jason Randell (son of ex-player John) with   "Do you really think I look like Simon Cowell in this?"   Other entries below……   Boys Just Want to Have Fun by Cameltoe Shane Despite what happened to Shane, Remy was still prepared to give the magic spray a go "Altogether now - Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall......." He seems 'armless enough! In a shock move, Witney sign Tinky Winky to play in the front row! Shane proving that he really has got short arms and long pockets. Well thats explains the dropped catches. My Mum said I would grow into them. Shane shows of his latest trophy, a wind sock from RAF Brize Norton. Lucky Norm only had his shorts today and not his joggers.  Remy thinks he is getting lucky as he  puts deoderant behind his knees.  Come on Shane let Bert out of there. Remy always had an eye for a good shapely backside !

January Caption Winner Larry and Reevsey cross paths on a Saturday afternoon. "See you in the 'Blue Oyster Bar' at 8ish and then a mini bus is taking us to that club at Bletchley." And dont forget its a Cowboy theme night!” ………. Wins Matty Collins a pint. Other entries, Reevsey say's: Yea, I still got it! Larry finds out what the “waterboy” had refilled the bottles with! I'm too sexy for my shirt... Todays Must Have  Accessory  - The Water Boy "So midgets really can play rugby????" It was like a scene from a Barbra Cartland novel. Perhaps the myth about modern rugby players being athletes wasn’t really true! Both players thinking, “wasn’t he sent off last week?” In a David Attenborough voice - 'Two members of the Beerus Guttus species size each other up, prior to competing for a mate'. Do you believe in love at first site ?

December Winner To celebrate the newest Witney RFC Life Member ! JC with Glen and Welly (on a Boxer Shorts Night) Obviously not the only gay in the village! …. Wins Andy Billing a pint. Others, Glen is just about to be introduced to Fagan!!!!! Witney RFC gay pride night has another disappointing turnout.. JC.."Welly look the other way and if you can guess what I've got in my hand you win a prize" The three country lads looked out of place on the Speed Dating Night. Glen Says, I'd rather be Welly than ginger! No offence JC! If only Trinny and Suzannah could do something for the males on the fashion front ! When told to put his hand on his "best mate", JC covers his options.

November Winner Some 4ths action against Amersham Thanks to all the entries this month, it proved a very popular photo (but has also been described as "more disturbing each time I look at it". Anyway, the winner of the free pint was Roger Dore with "Thats the last time I say "f***k me" to another player." Many thanks to all (especially Stu Wilkins) who entered.

"I fucking love the celebrities" says Avid as Reg from ‘Goodnight Sweetheart’ and Chutney demonstrate their love. Don’t worry chutney, it slackens up after a while, Ran and Mikey began to suspect it was Gary Glitter on the Amersham Team Sheet Chutney by name chutney by nature Roll away after grabbing his tackle, no really chutney roll away Ran "now Chutney, as a new member of the 4ths you must take IT for the team, mikey says its best if you just relax and think of a happy place" Squeal piggy squeal Chutney needed some reassuring that this was the way speed dating was meant to work The 4th XV Voyeurs Club outing Ran to Mikey - "They're still warm, quick lets sha@g them" One at a time please! The Witney players line up to take it in turns to play hooker. Me thinks he will be sore in the morning. Strictly come dancing proves to be a bad idea. Thats the last time I say "f***k me" to another player. So who is " playing for the other side " then. Another bum caption. Position 231: The Chutney Ferret Larry insists on using a stuntman for the penetration shots Ran began to wonder if his call for after match bonding with the opposition had gone too far. Reevsey (behind the camera): "ACTION!"

October Caption Winner Phil Workman at the Club Dinner The winning caption was chosen by our Hon. Secretary who selected, " Phil amazed the crowd by making Petes trumpet disappear whilst downing a Port in one." That wins Andy Bee a pint ! Thanks to everyone who contributed the other entries below, "So that's why they call me Stinky Pete." "Drinking and farting". A good description of the club dinner. Petes ability to trumpet the opening bars of God Save the Queen always amused the bar staff regardless of the discomfort to those around him. Despite hours of practice,Pete hadn't quite got the hang of the White Elephant trick Yes you can try catching a fart in a pint glass but you must put your hand over the top! Pete was beginning to wish Phil hadn't had so much of Wicksys cabbage. "honk if you like the plonk!" Inventor of World's first invisible trumpet "disappointed" by lacklustre reception.

September Winner Coaches Matt and Neil at a training session The winner of this months pint is Larry for, "Now I have told you before about picking your ass in front of my boys!" Other entries, "Now That Really is the way an General communicates with his troops in good plain English." Neil: "Anybody got any Preparation H?". Neil introduces new hooker Matt Watts to the rest of the forwards. Goz: "Nice Tractor!" Alright, where's your elbow then "The Itchy and Scratchie show visits Witney in between filming a new series for the Simpsons" "Travis the Tractor turns nasty, escapes from TV studio, and makes sneak attack on bewildered rugby team" "Owen tries to see if anyone has been effected by the itching powder he planted yet." "The Head teacher tells the naughty pupil off to the amusement of the rest of the class" "I've told you already, the signal for the No1 penalty move is the bollock scratch. The arse scratch is the miss move in the three-quarters."

August Caption Winner Dan and Jez on the Golf Day The winner (for creativity and mentioning Tommy Cooper) was Andy Merriman with, Ah, the old Tommy Cooper trick,you will have to put the voice on, "a full glass of beer , close your eyes and count to one, where's the other half gone?" He wins the pint ! Other entries, "Danny demonstrates the art of puking through clenched teeth!" "Dans own particular drinking problem was beginning to piss Jez off" "Jez regrets asking Dan for a swift half". "Despite the denials there was evidence that the first selection committee had not gone as smoothly as was hoped". "Dan didn't like to say anything but Jez's body oder problem was beginning to be a worry". Thanks to everyone who entered.

July Caption Winner Keith Floyd after enjoying a Wicksy "Traditional English Breakfast" Winner of the much sought after "pint" was Roger Dore with, "Ok you might be the best cook and the biggest drinker in the club but I’m still the best f***ing tackler". "Did you drown everything in guiness, I feel a bit drunk." "Hell Dave till I met you I thought my drinking and smoking while I cooked was a problem, now I feel a lot better with myself." "David, my new tv series will now be called Floyd on fags and farking fry ups". "F*** off Floydy,I can drink loads more than you!" "Just hold on to me Keith, you'll feel alright when the grease settles!" "One is an expert on drinking the other an expert on cooking but which is which?" "Floyd thinking If he mentions is fu**ing curry recipe once more I’ll scream." "David, cabbage doesn’t need two hours cooking".

May Caption Winner Entries from Korea, USA and Feisty's dad this month but the winner was Stu Wilkins with, "Nick wonders if his choice of wingers was that wise". He wins a pint ! "Is that a rib I see there Jamie ?", "No that is the Chow Mein I had last night!" "Bet you a pint you can't fill it from there!" "Experimental 5 gallon glass intimidates the diminutive Young 'uns'" "The line for the buffet started to form early." "Norm, Burkie, and Nick await there next pint and pie !!!!!" "Celebrity Fat Club had reached D-List celebs!" "I bet you can't fill that glass from here" "The meeting of the "minds" - We don't "mind" what you think of our waistlines. "An army marches on it's stomach, and we've got a long way to go!" Norm: "I've invented a new way to drink a pint without using my hands" Jamie: "How's that?" Norm: "Use my third leg" Jamie: "Brilliant!" "The secret of Norms rugby success is out, we now know where he keeps his spare legs to bring on at half time….."

       

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