Each month we submit a photo for a Caption Competition and welcome as much humour, abuse and ridicule as possible ! The winner of each month will win a pint at the club. If you think you have a suitable photo, please let us know, wrfc@fsmail.net  

September Caption Competition JC on the Golf Day . EMail us on wrfc@fsmail.net Winner gets a pint.

August Caption Winner Robbie Mills - Devil Winner was, "Robbie does little to change JC's mind about the backs being "Lesbians". "Eddie Izard has a rival" "Claire likes it when Robbie dresses up" "As Robs tights had laddered, he used his boot to cover his modesty". "It was the photo Mayor Mills had wished the press had never got hold of". "Robbie's got the horn"

July Caption Winner Chats has a sinking feeling! Winner was Marky Fuller with, ""In the navy, Yes, you can sail the seven seas, In the navy!" Other entries, "Isn't that one of the British soldiers from 'Allo 'Allo ?" "Chats didn't win Bamptons best dressed man for nothing" "Extreme sports present..." "Chats was thrilled when he eventually managed to be shorter than Shirl" "Simon was prepared for severe beer spillage - unlikely in the Morris Clown though"

June Caption Winner Sarah having a swifty! . Winner was Paul Copperwheat with, "As usual Wicksy had run out of clean glasses". Other entries, "Shorty finally finds an eggcup small enough to drink out of." "Sarah has a small aperatiff before the real drinking games begin" "Sarah's half time cup of tea had turned into a bit of a ritual." "More Irn Bru to keep those forearms strong, inflictor of pain and all that." "Dave, I think you boiled the cabbage too long. " "Sarah was getting ready to endure the 3 hours of everyone telling each other how great they all are by getting 3 sheets to the wind early on." "The thimble looked so much bigger when Sarah drank from it" "This was the point Sarah realised she had a drinking problem".

May Caption Winner Leigh Manning showing off his musical talent.   Winner was Steve Harris with, You misheard us Leigh. We said PLUCK your guitar !!!! Other entries, "Leigh’s auditions for Britain’s got talent Is well and truly underway despite the guitar strings being on the wrong side" "Freddy Mercury show promise at a young age." "I know this is overkill but i couldn't find any matches to cover my penis." "If you forget your plectrum - improvise!" "Britain really has got talent" "The musical auctioneer at the ‘health and efficiency’ clearance sale, takes a bid for the curtains" "The naked busker stayed inside as it was too cold ouutside .... if you know what I mean" "Hank Marvin was proud of his young protigy - most of the time"

April Caption Winner Rich Haire dressing up  Winner was Owen with, "The split from Jordan has hit Peter hard!" Other entries, " Ah so you eat all the pies." "After a tough match, Rich liked to relax at home in a variety of his girlfriends outfits" "A real man likes to feel close to white wool" "Rich never quite got the hang of role playing" "a scarf that long was not needed"

March Caption Winner Hannah watches Copper take a conversion   Winner was Mike Minch with, “Hold it there and I’ll get the strap-on big boy”’ Other Entries, “Some days, Hannah felt her job was like a scene from Casualty. Today was more like All Creatures Great and Small. “ "Oop's" Pardon Hanna. “The physio knew that Copper's kicking routine was very anal” “Hannah had finally found somewhere to park her bike.” “The excitement of taking a kick was all too much for Copper!” “Cheeky” “Johnny Wilkinson, he ain’t! …. Well not from this angle.” “Before you ask, yes it does look big”

February Caption Winner Jen and Reg go all “Flintstones” on us. Winner was, Paul Copperwheat with, "As he celebrated his promotion to detective, some wondered if Reg fully understood the meaning of plain clothes." Other entries (some crackers this time), "Regs move to Vice saw him in deep cover" "Reg's new uniform did not bring him the respect he was hoping for." "Yabba, Dabba, Don't" "Though Jen's costume didn't look much like Barney Rubble the face was almost perfect!" "Mmmm Betty" "Flint-stoned". "Reg wondered if he had put too much padding around his middle to look realistic"

January Caption Winner Fish not enjoying his post match drink!    Winner was Dave Davies (M&J’s) with, “The new urine test didn't go down too well.” Other entries, “Fish smiles for the camera!” “Fish was not impressed with the size of his new aquarium!” “Thank Christ it’s not a pint this week!” “I think Wicksy needs to clean the pipes out”

December Caption Winner Tony and Gareth at the Phil Bennett Dinner   Winner was Andy Merriman with, "I sleep safer at night knowing the UK's nuclear facilities are in safe hands".    Other entries, "Who said gurning was out of fashion ?" "The Chuckle Brothers" "The new colgate models needed some cosmetic work". "The two lads couldn't understand why the ladies hadn't come a callin"

November Caption Winner Mark goes all “Hulk Hogan” on us ! Winner was Robbie Mills with, 'Mark's attempt to lean on the bar was doomed to Delboy-like failure'   Other entries, "Mark's old skateboarding gear did come in useful after all". "Yellow Peril" "Mark's 'dressing up at weekends' secret was now out." "The white Usain Bolt"

October Caption Winner Goz goes for it!   The winner was Lee Illot with, “The new bingo caller stayed truely proffessional even though the heckling was close range.“. Other Entries, “Mary was confident that Andrew's deodorant was working.“ “When the call came to be 1st XV replacement, Goz was very vocal in saying yes”. “Freddy Mercury, the disheveled years”. “I’m Loving Angels instead”

September Caption Winner Norm meets a friend on Tour! Winner of the pint was, Andy “the Calf” Merriman with, “Norm meets the latest person who got into a conversation about cycling and cordorouy with DM.”   Other entries, “Who the hell are them two ?” “Look....my cock looks like a pint of beer!“ “One a valuable antique, the other a statue – you decide!” “Norm was relieved he had found someone sensible on a Rugby Tour” “Norm waited patiently for his new friend to buy him a beer” “The Silver Surfer and the Grey Fox”

August Caption Winner Tour De Witney!   Winner was Carl Strutt with, "Wayne’s latest piece of jewellery caught Gareth by surprise." Other entries, "The boys recreated a Madness Album Cover" "A rush to buy the next round" "Carl actually asked for some pork scratching’s!" "Bonding" "Lance Armstrong never faced such hazards on the Tour"

July Caption Winner Gareth makes a point to Pete at the Club Dinner Winner was Roger Dore with, "Gareth, if you stick your finger in my gravy once more I will eat it." Other entries, "I must remind dave there is no toilet paper left in the gents." "Pete, are our heads getting bigger or are the table cloths getting smaller?" "Nice breasts" "Gareth was adament that women should never be allowed at the club dinner." "The trouble is Pete, nobody ever takes me seriously" "Serious talking at the World Gurning Championships" "Pete and Gareth recreate a famous scene from Monty Python" "Knotted hankerchiefs had to be in club colours"

June Caption Winner Elvis is found in Portugal Winner was Mark Fuller with, "Like Elvis, The Jordanaires were showing their age!"   Other entries,  "All the way from Death Valley we have ...the one... the only" "Although the model was past his best, Nick thought that the new 4th team kit looked great." "I didn't know Chris Delaney had gone on Tour this year!" "Clive's 4th XV player recruitment scheme had the scouts looking far and wide" "Remy's Tour Outfit caught everyone by surprise"

May Caption Winner The ref has some advice for Sam    Winner was Paul Copperwheat with, "Sam still could not see the strings, but he new the puppet master was around." Other entries, "Course to do it properly you'll have bells on your legs, a stick in your and and wear a funny hat wiv ribbons on." "And would you be happy if I told you how to ref!" "And then you do the oke coke and turn around". "If you ruck o player out, raise your foot this high"

April Caption Winner Bob gets cheeky with Steve Borthwick Winner was Dave Davies (Coach U8's) with, "How many times do we have to tell you. go for the ball with 2 hands!!" Other entries, Steve "Does my bum look big in these shorts?" Reply " They are doing the best they can!" "It’s the way Captains get to know each other, very basic , bit primitive and ..well ,  almost  like dogs really" "It’s known as the captain’s ‘handshake" "Bob gets cheeky with the England skipper" Borthwick thinks, "life just couldn't get any worse. could it?" "Can you pinch more than an inch?" ..... Reply, "I bloody hope so!"

March Caption Winner Owen Gets Himself tied up in Knots    Winner of the pint was Debbie from the Angels with “That’s perfect … much better than a scrum cap”   Other entries, “With Dot Cotton’s replacement in Eaastenders still being looked for, Owen decided on desperate measures” “Owen prepared for a night out at the Rocky Horror Picture Show” “Daft hairdo’s tend to look better on muscular Samoans” “Come on girls – lets party” “Owen’s cross dressing secret was out”

 

Febuary Caption Winner Bob and Austen get "nailed"   Winner of the pint was Bob with, “It doesn't matter how many times you add the points up Wales still beat England“  .Other entries were, “Thats the nails sorted now the hair.” "These would slip up your mum nicely!" “I've just got no class have I :)” “No Austin I said are you any good at rucking” “Now you have taken the hand cuffs off I will have sex with you.” “There thats much better my nails wont come through my nice gloves I wear for my match report” “Thats great but can you  make them non slip.” “Nails done, now its time for your all over body massage” “Us Utility players need to look our best Austin” “No wonder you never caught anything trying to catch like that”   * * * * * Thanks to Oxford Mail/Jon Lewis for the photo. CLICK HERE for the Oxford Mail feature.

January Caption Winner The 2nd XV “Management”, Harry and Nick     Winner was John Williams with, “Only 2 people turned up at this week's Witney MENSA group meeting” Other entries were, 'Nick thinks Austin has nothing on me when it comes to Ball room!!' “My belly used to come out here until I tried the Wicksy Cabbage Diet” “Well Harry, I guess all us Godfreys are just built this way” "Honest, it used to be this big, when I was in my prime"

 

December Caption Winner 4th XV Stalwart Ski enjoying his rugby!  Winner was. Pip with ‘Crouch, touch, pause.....’   Other entries were, 'Up the bum no harm done' “Witney gives Chippy yet another good shagging” “Phil Romaine painfully found out it was mistake to play for the opposition.” “Ride ‘em cowboy” “Blondes have more fun” “Ski comes from behind the back foot” "Get down Shep!!!" “Ski’s tackling technique left the opposition floored” “Ref, did you have to blow the whistle - this rucking is such fun”  “Ski demonstrates the "hand on the small of the back, rodeo style technique" “Ski confuses Steve's instruction to "give as good as you get in the Red Zone" “The 4th team thought that they would reenact a scene from deliverance. “Squeal like a piggy boy” “Witney always enjoyed coming from behind against Chippy”  “With a true respect of the law, like all Witney 7s, Ski only enters from behind the back foot” “Can someone tell those two the match finished 20 minutes ago”

November Caption Winner Abi, Jen, “T”, Smorley and Katy warm up   Winner of the pint was Dave Davies  (Un 8’s coach) with, “That'll be the linx effect then!!”   Other entries I am a little tea pot short and stout is the song I think! Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes…. The party was too much for some! “'Smorleys flatulence was up to it's normal standard'” "Death was not considered a reasonable excuse for missing an Angels training session" ”Lady Rugby Player Shot – Police are looking for a Ginger haired man seen near the crime”  “Sometimes rugby isn’t worth getting out of bed for!” “One down …..”

October Caption Winner Copper and Charlie Bennett after a 2nd XV Match   Winner was Paul Copperwheat with. Charlie had been "on fire" all match, so Copper thought he'd put an end to it.   Other entries were, Does you're old man want a drink? Copper tucked Charlie in after refilling up his glass. Copper was struggling for places to put his pint. If I water it, perhaps it will grow?

September Caption Winner Jez and Gareth on Tour in Bulgaria    Winner of the pint was ex-player Andy Payne with,               Gareth - "How did that get there?"               Frog - "It started as a boil on my genitals..."   Other entries were, “I spy withmy little eye”. “Dr Williams found a rare old species lurking on the benches in Bulgaria” “Jez and Gareth made a real effort to socialize with the locals while on Tour” “Now lads, this is a frog, god knows what he’s sitting on” “It was the Frogs turn to go on top as Jez bonded with the best looking female in Bulgaria” “No matter how many times Jez kissed her, the frog didn’t turn into a beautiful princess”

July Caption Winner Andy Payne gets a shock on the Golf Day     Winner was Pat Hall with, "I think that counts as a penalty stroke"   Other entries, "Thats never a five wood" "Christ, Paul doesn't have his nob out" "You did say dropped ball !!   Did you not?   Andy?" "Paul always liked a wood in his hands" "New balls please" "Andy was impressed with Paul's flexible shaft" "Andy wondered if Pauls new putter would ever reach the green"

June Caption Winner Monksy on Tour "Pant on of the Opera" wins Roger Dore a pint. Other Entries "At first there appeared to be a knob in the womens frillies, then it was panic over when it was realised to be a c*nt instead" "While on tour, Monksy failed to hide that he was missing his other half" "Monksy couldn't stop himself from messing with Coppers underwear drawer" "Pretty in Pink" ? "The lesson to be learned was never to cross dress when drunk" "Barrel failed to grasp the concept of a Tour Hat" "I'm sure there was a girl in these last time a looked" "What goes on tour, stays on tour ..... unless it gets in the caption competition!"

May Caption Winner Rob Smith and Chris Birks on Tour Winner of the pint was Andy Payne with, "Time warp allows the future King Charles III to get advice on ruling and rogering from King Charles II." Other entries, " The old false nose and ears are always good for a laugh, pity Birksy didn't put some on." Rob to Chris, "I thought my nose was red til I saw yours!!" "There are signs that the salad diet that Birksy is on is starting to pay dividend" Rob to Chris, "You got the ears right but forgot the beard if you are to win the Mark Godfrey lookalike prize". Chris to Rob,"Could you let me have a bottle of that hair replinishment lotion please" Chris to Rob,"You really have no idea of how ridiculous you look".

April Caption Winner Penny for your thoughts Chats ?   The winner of the pint was Paul Copperwheat with, "Chatts was sure that he had finally found the hiding place of Goz's wallet". Other Entries, Gos - A little to right and your be right on son! Chats was unhappy to find that Goz had a lazy lob Goz gives the scrum half a helping hand! Chats experienced that "Grimsby Fishmarket" moment While Goz enjoyed the foreplay, he couldn't wait for shower time! Sometimes the waft of methane was all to much for Simon. At times like this Chats wished he had opted for the no 10 shirt.

March Caption Winner Sophie and Catherine in the money on the Casino Night   Winner of the pint was Angels captain Elaine with, 'We will soon have enough money for Gozs' makeover!! - donations anyone?”   Other Entries, “Catherine has a whip round to get a pint of lumps!” “It was a profitable night for the Angels pole dancers” “The two blondes thought they would make a whole lot of money when they played – guess the age of the Birthday girl” “Sophie, we have three ten pound notes, so how much is that altogether now?”

February Caption Winner Terry and Gareth enjoy a days fishing   Winner of the pint was Bill Q with, "Bill and Ben go fishing" Other entries, “You think I should throw him of that bridge!” “Did not know teletubies could fish” “It just goes to prove its a fine line between standing on the river bank fishing and looking like an idiot” “Terry and Gareth contemplated their poor catch, no fish at all. A more traditional fisherman who happened to be passing advised they could try getting closer to the river.”

 

January Caption Winner Snaz and Adam enjoy a “moment” together.   Winner of the pint was Club Captain Bob with, Adam makes a move on Ginger Spice Other Entries, “Will you still love me in the morning? “That old scrum half and hooker bond still seems to be a strong as ever” “After ten pints Adam thought his new bird would really make brother Simon jealous”. “I love you even if you haven’t got your club tie on” “As the night wore on, the two lovebirds couldn’t keep their hands off each other”.

2006 - 2007 Captions - CLICK HERE

2005 - 2006 Captions - CLICK HERE