On Sunday 11^{th July, the most prestigious of global sporting events culminated in the coming together of a group of athletes so revered that the world’s cameras turned away in awe. No, it wasn’t football’s World Cup Final, but an occasion far more momentous – Witney Rugby Club flexed they’re soccerball prowess against the assumed might of West Witney Football Club.}

Due to the importance of the game’s outcome (nothing to do with the cricket season starting up at West Witney), it was decided a neutral venue would be best, so the home ground of AC Finstock was chosen. Soccer City has nothing on this place. Half the players played at altitude, the other half were sub-sub-sea level, such was the pitch’s slope.

On a day more suited to indulging in a glass of something cold and intoxicating in a welcoming beer garden, the fact that we managed to rouse 18 footballers (and I use that term with more than a touch of irony) to run around was our first small victory. And then the game.

The Rugby Club kicked off and Owen somehow managed to ignore the cries to take a shot straight away from the half way line. It appeared that we were taking it seriously, which didn’t bode well for some people’s fitness. We had the majority of possession in the first half and continuously piled pressure on their goal with Louis Collins, Robbie Mills and Henry Lamb all having efforts saved or narrowly skimming the post. Player/coach J.C. made an impressive cameo in the centre of defence, before making a timely exit from the pitch shortly before the disapproving WAGs arrived pitchside. Joe Rowles was also solid at the back and his no nonsense approach – a real crowd pleaser - must have worn the opposition down, as they went to recover the ball from what seemed like several miles away. Carl Strutt made some timely interventions at right back and Luke Manning’s industry was nearly rewarded with a goal. Unfortunately his header, from Henry’s pin point cross, rattled off the crossbar. Halftime arrived and the score was still 0-0. The opposition did not seem happy and when they reappeared from the state of the art (well, somewhat Picasso) changing rooms it looked like they may have brought their big guns on. Big guns or big’uns, we weren’t yet sure. A pep talk from Jose Campbellio and we were primed for the second half.

The second half began much as the first had finished; the Rugby Club had the vast majority of possession and chances, although West Witney always looked threatening on the counter attack. Joe and his cohorts continued to clear up at the back, Snaz dominated the midfield, first to everything, Dan, James and Louis linked well, showing some good touches and generally the frontline worked tirelessly with and without the ball. West Witney were getting frustrated and maybe surprisingly, it was them giving away all the free kicks. We appeared well organized and dangerous at such breakdowns, so much so that both the goalkeeper and centre back from the opposing team commented that they themselves could do with a set piece taker with Henry’s accurate delivery. Close to the final whistle, young Tom Forkner squandered a very good effort, skying Louis’ decent cross. It would have been just reward for an impressive display from the young winger and West Witney could not have complained if we had sneaked it at the end. However, it was not to be and the referee, who himself had a great game, letting the match flow for the most part, blew the final whistle with the game locked at stalemate. No one wanted extra time, so it was decide that penalties would decide the game. Several people volunteered, but it was Henry who stepped up to take the first, scoring to equal their first effort. They then missed their second effort. Dan Godfrey, who had been conserving his energy for this moment, could give us the upper hand. But he decided not to, preferring to conserve his energy for the next match instead. West Witney’s third penalty was a beauty, smashing into the top left hand corner. Simon Copperwheat (who I have done marvelously well not to mention thus far) stood no chance, with the clue being in the word ‘stood’. He showed all the agility of an aging roman mural. Frozen in ice. In a safe. Luke scored the third penalty for us, before they the missed their fourth. Young Tom made up for his late miss by scoring our fourth, which meant that they had to score their fifth. Lev Yashin, Dino Zoff, Banks, Schmeicel and Buffon. All great goalkeepers. But none should be mentioned in the same breath as Simon Copperwheat’s big left foot. Now Simon was good during this match, dominating his area, there is no denying that. But his left foot was great. Independent from the rest of his body, it decided to selflessly throw itself at the oncoming speeding ball. The West Witney player had hit the fith penalty cleanly, with some gusto. But Simon’s left foot knew this day was his and it successfully blocked the shot. The Rugby Club had won!! All of the lads played really well, far above expectation. West Witney were all good lads too and the game was played in the right spirit. Henry Lamb was probably the man of the match, but Joe Rowles, Snaz, Strutty, Tom and Simon’ left foot all deserve special mention. We are already in talks with Freeland about a possible game so watch this space….

Witney RFC vs. West Witney:
Copper, Strutty, Henry, JC, Joe Rowles, Louis, Owen, Snaz, Robbie Mills, James Lamb, Dan Godfrey, Shandy, Wayne, Pin, Luke Manning, Leigh Manning, Tom Forkner and Biscuit La Costa.